I didn’t expect this to ever be my most frequently asked question; but truthfully, it is. And I can understand why… When you’re choosing someone to guide you through one of the hardest days of your life, you want to know you’re in capable hands.

I was born in 1994, so at the time of this post, I’m 29.

But that number doesn’t answer what I think people are trying to gauge which is my depth of experience, and my maturity to be able to handle the sensitive topic of grief and what is required to assist those experiencing it.

I hope that some further background information can put any doubts at ease:

2023 marks my third year in the funeral industry.

In 2021, I entered the industry as a Funeral Director. The following year I extended my experience to Operations Coordination and behind-scenes assistance, before making Celebrancy my full-time focus. I officiated my first service in September of 2021 and have now helped over 100 families through some of the toughest times of their life.

Prior to working in the funeral industry, I had experience in Nursing, Politics, and Administration. My first job was at a bookstore where I started working aged 14 - so I’ve been in the workforce for well over a decade now.

I graduated from high school in 2011, and completed a Bachelor of Arts with a major in English Literature and a minor in Psychology.

I am currently aiming to complete my Graduate Diploma of Psychology by 2025.

While maturity can’t be so easily quantified, I hope after meeting with me, you’ll see that my age is in fact the least interesting part about the work I love to do.

The Eulogy is the speech which typically includes the loved one’s life story, achievements, accolades, and life events.

Typically it is in chronological order, and read as the main speech.

A tribute can be anything from a personal account, a memory, an open letter, a poem, reading, or just a few loving words. A tribute can be an action, like lighting a candle or laying a significant item. A tribute can be just about anything you want it to be.

I don’t like to say “normally” because each funeral is as unique as the person it’s for, and accomodations can always be made. But typically, there is one eulogy read by close family, and then tributes from family, close friends, or group representatives. Alternatively, I can read anything written by anyone who doesn’t feel able to speak on the day, including the eulogy.

Can the eulogy include elements of a tribute, such as talking about funny anecdotes, specific memories, or discussing their personality not just the life events?

ABSOLUTELY it can, and I encourage you to do so.

Please also note, I have been to quite a few funerals now where the family did not feel their loved one would have liked having a eulogy with facts being read out. They felt the best way to celebrate them would be to only share a collage of happy memories and anecdotes and so elected to have no formal eulogy and instead just have tributes.

This is great too! There is no one-size-fits-all approach, and we should always approach their day in the way that would best suit them.

This is definitely one I get asked a lot, typically by younger clients whose only funeral experience may be from American movies or TV shows.

The appropriate attire for funerals is completely varied, depending on the tone of the service. It’s very common now for people to want less of a somber funeral and more of a celebration of life these days. So, this may include wearing bright colours or the loved one’s favourite colour rather than traditional black.

It is also not compulsory to wear a formal suit.

“But how do I know what to wear without hassling the family for advice and direction”.

Well, wear whatever you think best reflects the person you’re going to farewell.

If they were someone who didn’t care about trends and just wanted you to be comfortable, wear something respectably comfortable.

If they were someone who always dressed impeccably, dress to impress.

If they always told you they loved a certain outfit on you, put it on for them today.

If they loved the colour blue, pull out your best blue garment.

And if they loved tradition, or if the family are very much approaching the funeral as a tragedy not a celebration, or if you just don’t know what else to wear; then this is when to wear black.

The day is always about honouring and reflecting the life of someone unique, so your decisions should be guided by what they would have liked if they’d been there.

I can happily provide a copy of the eulogy and any tributes which have been forwarded to me.

Unfortunately, I cannot provide printed copies of poems read for copyright reasons, but will pass along titles and known authors of poems for you to source.

To be perfectly honest, there are times when it’s incredibly difficult to hold back the tears. When you hear so much about someone’s amazing life, and you’ve had such candid chats with the people who loved them; of course it can be a real challenge not to cry along with them.

As a Funeral Celebrant however, my role is to support you and your family and be a guiding figure through an incredibly difficult time. That means putting my feelings second to yours throughout the funeral process, and it’s humbling to do so.

When it comes to the eulogy, there are a few different options.

a) You can have me read and write the eulogy on your behalf
b) You can write the eulogy and have me read it
c) You can write and read the eulogy yourself, or have someone close to you do the reading and writing

If you would like to write the eulogy, but struggle to put pen to paper; if you’re not a natural writer; out of practice; or if you’re just finding the process really tough - I encourage you to use *any* resource that makes the process easier for you.

In my information booklet, I include writing prompts and a template for families who need guidance with the writing process. If you would like to try using Chat GPT, I suggest using it as you would a template - as a guide, but anticipate editing / adjusting afterwards.

I do have a few tips to make sure you can get the most of the tool you’re using below:

A) Write clear dot points of what you want to include (eg. born on X date, went to school at Y), and have those dot points in chronological order.

B) Do not put all the information in at once and ask for a full eulogy. Instead, break it up into sections such as early life, relationship, marriage and kids, career, retirement, etc. Asking for specific paragraphs about specific topics will give you a better outcome.

C) Go through and edit anything Chat GPT gives you. You’ll likely want to edit, adjust and put your own flare into the writing.

Lastly, just remember - as always with the internet, be careful of any personal information you choose to put into an online database.

You should try asking Chat GPT to “Write a funeral service”… You will see that no, I absolutely do not use Chat GPT (think “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today”).

I am an experienced writer with my own writing style, and so I enjoy the process of writing funeral services in a way that reflects the individual I’m commemorating in my own words. It’s why I picked this career after all!

I’ve made a spotify playlist to give you suggestions and inspirations - Songs for Funerals